i'm angry already

Gone! Gone! Gone! Dead! Dead! Dead! I'm already super angry. I criticized, I chastised the popular culture which promotes the superficial and selfish self-obssession. Remember yesterday, Mai and I went to Suntec and found a shirt say "why show up if you can't show off" and how much contempt we had for that kind of shirt. I look down on this modern zeitgeist of eulogizing yourself, of thinking you yourself ruling, owning the whole world and other people are just the small little insects not deserving your attention. Though I do own a shirt bearing some self-obssessing sentences, I must admit I'm sick of this culture and sadly, I have in one way or another, be influenced by this culture. Nevertheless, I've been comforting myself that my home country, my beloved hometown still have people with humility, with a heart caring and placing others at a higher priority than themselves. BUT, today, I'm disappointed. I'm angry! I want to smash the laptop screen! What crap is that? And I'm telling you this is possibly the first time I say something rather vulgar. Yes, what crap is that? Vietnam Idol? Oh no, no, this cannot be right! They have Vietnam Idol now? Again that oh-so-familiar symbol. Oh my gosh! Gone! Really gone! Ladies and gentlemen, I'm PLEASED to present to you the new Vietnam. Oh no, you should know how much I have enjoyed the high-quality music competition in my country. You should know how much I love the good-old-day songs filled with genuine emotions and cotemplation. Now, we have Vietnam Idol. Haha, Americanized already ah? Join the global culture already ah? Blend yourself into that whole bunch of yet another "global city" already ah? Haha! Yes, I laugh but my heart is burning in fire! This thing reflects no other thing than a decreasing demand for the more traditional, though not popular but a self-identifying way of life and an increasing demand for that popular culture. Every one is better off. Yes, broadcaster gets audience. The large stadium hosting the competition gets money. The young generation enjoy the own version of that global culture. But what about us? The sons and daughters of the land of dragons and fairies ... can we just anchor in our memories of the good old days, in our illusion of how our country is like ... What should I write for my application question in my comprehension now? Is my country still the same as how I always perceive it and pen down on my papers? Is there anything unique about my country so I can introduce to my friends? I hope I'm just getting a bit too crazy ... I hope that Vietnam Idol is not that bad ... I hope those people placing those self-obssessed avatars are not that self-obssessed ... or am I just trying to find excuses to return back to my oh-so-good illusion? ... my country ... the place I belong to ... and I want to belong there ... really ...